Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse

Below are 9 practices to overcome devastation caused Narcissistic abuse.


In order for the healing to commence, you need to put a protective shield around yourself. If you can physically get away, that is the best. Any memory of the narcissist will keep triggering the pain, slowing down your recovery. So, block them on your phone, email, all your social media, etc. Get rid of any memorabilia reminding you of them. And for goodness sake, do not stalk their profiles!

If you are unable to physically remove yourself from their environment, look into a technique called ‘grey rock.’ The ideas is that while you interact with the narc, you remain emotionally and mentally disengaged, giving them nothing to feed on. Even though you may be boiling inside, do not let them see that. Once you are alone, let it all out. Cry, scream, cuss. Whatever brings you relief.

Another form of a boundary to start practicing is learning how to say no. It will help you build true confidence. Your boundary is like a cell wall. It keeps nutrients in and toxicity out. Become very picky whom you let in.


During the time you’ve spent around the narcissist doing everything in your power to please and appease them, you’ve been exposed to a serious mental disorder. It is extremely unhealthy to the mind of an empath. We took it in by doing what we could to ‘understand’ them and walk in their shoes. Narcissists know this and take full advantage of this empathic trait.

Now it is time to let all that dark goo out for health and clarity to be restored. One of the best things you can do is externalize it. Write a Journal about what happened, talk to a trusted friend who ‘gets it,’ engage a therapist or a coach. Join a support group to connect with others who can relate to your experience. Externalizing will help chaotic, confused thoughts click into place restoring a semblance of order. It will help clear your slate from the debris.

Other forms of externalization include movement, such as dance, deep breathing, mind-body exercises like yoga, sweating, getting a massage. All this is helpful in metabolizing the toxic chemicals that have been generated during the devaluation and discard stages of the relationship


This step will begin to set your mind straight. You must accept the truth that this person was highly toxic and consciously hurt you. Realize you’ve been tricked, manipulated and abused! Your high pain threshold worked to your disadvantage, making them push you farther and farther with each abuse cycle. Seeing them as a reflection of you, obscured the warning signs and made them fly under your radar. Your best traits were used against you: empathy, desire to explore, openness, positive sociability, etcAnd finally, not realizing you were in a dirty game, you were outmaneuvered.

It was not your fault. Forgive yourself.


But you disregarded it. This is a step where we begin to take responsibility (not to be confused with self-blame!) and do a rational post-mortem analysis of what happened.

Maybe you got a feeling in your stomach at some point early in the relationship. Maybe some things they said just didn’t add up. Look at that and ask yourself why you disregarded your intuitive hints. Was it because you really wanted to make it work?


Taking a trip back to childhood is a necessary component of healing if we want lasting results. It will create a sense of inner cohesion, eliminate much unresolved pain and restore deeper connection to self-trust. The little one inside you needs your help. They need you to see them, hear them, love then and guide them.


There will be a long period of time where you will feel pulled towards the past. It is cognitive dissonance and trauma bond at work. It is a sign that there are still things you need to understand and emotions to process. It is absolutely necessary to continue this work, but instead of letting the past steal your present moments, set aside dedicated time to do just that.

Meanwhile, practice staying mindful in the present and thinking of the future you’d like to create for yourself. Resurrect your dreams, maybe even give them an upgrade. Having a sense of purpose in life and things to look forward to helps us overcome the pull of the trauma and launches us forward. Knowing your ‘why’ is a good place to start. It shifts you from being a victim to becoming the hero of your life.


Your, inner quiet voice is your best friend. Even, and especially, while you are in the midst of chaos and pain, it can help navigate you out of suffering. There are many reasons why we experienced narcissistic abuse. Many of those reasons were outside our control. The world is full of manipulative characters who live to fulfill their own agenda. Now it is time for you to take your destiny back in your hands.

You can practice listening to the voice by asking yourself: how do I feel now? If you are faced with a choice, always go with the inner feeling. If you feel relaxed and open, the answer is a yes. If you are on the fence, it is likely better to hold back.


Being in an abusive relationship made us constantly dwell in a state of hyper-vigilance, even if we were not aware of it. Even during the highs, the intensity of the relationship made it seem like we are on a roller coaster ride. Other times, we were walking on our tip-toes not to disturb the abuser.

All this overstimulated our sympathetic system, pumping chemicals of stress into our bloodstream. It is one of the reasons we were so exhausted while in the relationship.


Whether you get upset at yourself because you slipped up and fallen right back to the pit, or get frustrated that you are not making faster progress and instead crying again, please be kind to yourself. This healing requires deep work and deep work requires time.

Every one of us has different rhythms, has gone through different, though similar, experiences and therefore will need more or less time to heal. But know one thing, no matter how long it will take you, with persistence and commitment to yourself, you will get there. One step at a time. It is simply inevitable.

7 Typical Fears Of A Narcissist

For those of you who are not familiar with the term Narcissist or Narcissistic Personality Disorders (NPD) it is a personality disorder that is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, originating in early adulthood and manifesting in a variety of contexts. The individual has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, often displaying a conceited, boastful demeanor while overestimating his/her abilities and accomplishments. DSM-5.

Check out this video on YouTube things that Narcissists are most scared of

  1. Relationship Commitment

Narcissists are often characterized by a failure or inability to pursue lasting, meaningful relationships. The reasons for this are pretty clear. To be in a relationship, you have to let your guard down, and this is something that narcissists are really afraid of. Being in a relationship means that your partner will get to know you, including all of your faults and embarrassments. For narcissists, letting people see these imperfections in their character can seem unthinkable, and even frightening.

2. Looking Deep Into Their Own Soul

One of the biggest things about narcissists is that they refuse to examine their own inadequacies and imperfections. Because of this, one of the things that scares them most is something right under their noses – themselves. They like to create this false idea of themselves as superior beings, but some part of them, subconscious or otherwise, knows that this is all a lie. That part of their mind is shielded away from them, but it’s always there. To look into this area of their mind would be to confront everything that is wrong with their personality, and it’s something that narcissists dread more than almost anything else. To be fair, this is something that a lot of people fear, not just narcissists.

3. Insults

Another thing narcissists really fear is being insulted. Narcissists are characterized by a hypersensitivity to insults, and the mere thought of being verbally abused can be a source of great fear for them. Hypersensitivity means that they experience the “sting” of being insulted much more than the average person. While a normal person might be hurt and saddened by an insult, they’ll probably get over it in a matter of days or even hours. Narcissists on the other hand will feel insults as a crushing blow to their already fragile self-esteem, and they’ll brood and sulk over it for weeks on end. They might even never get over it (depending on the insult), or even plot some kind of revenge to get back at the person who insulted them.

4. Shame

Another thing that narcissists really fear is shame. They really value their place in society, and they like to think that people hold them in high regard. But it’s an interesting point to make that narcissists fear shame, not guilt. Guilt would imply that they feel bad about hurting someone’s feelings, or doing the wrong thing. It’s widely accepted that true narcissists are incapable of feeling these emotions, because they find it impossible to put themselves in other people’s shoes. Shame is much more daunting to narcissists, because this implies them being singled out by their community or friends and given a lower status. People who are shamed are sometimes shunned or even exiled from a society. Since narcissists value their pride and their standing in society so dearly, tasting the bitter feeling of shame and a wounded ego can be one of the most dreaded experiences for them.

5. Lack Of Admiration From Others

Narcissists feed heavily on the admiration of others. Without other people, they are nothing. That’s why one of the biggest fears for narcissists is the complete lack of admiration from others. This is not quite as feared as being shamed by others, but it’s very close. Some people don’t mind feeling like they’re invisible. They’re totally okay with walking down the hallways or the street with no one paying them any attention. But for narcissists, even the thought of this happening is like a nightmare to them. It’s that feeling of total irrelevance and unimportance that frightens narcissists so much.

6. Feeling Remorse

Another key characteristic of narcissism is the incapacity to feel remorse. It’s not just that they can’t feel remorse, it’s that they actively refuse to show remorse. This fierce rejection of the very notion of feeling bad about hurting others is indicative of a very deep fear. It’s a total denial of remorse. And why do they fear remorse so much? It’s simple. To them, remorse is a characteristic of weakness. Remorse, to them, shows vulnerability and emotional frailty. And to feel remorse is to open yourself up to that weakness. Remorse is also in its basest form the acceptance that you have made a mistake.

7. Feeling Gratitude

Another feeling that these people reject and fear is gratitude. Gratitude, like remorse, is another emotion that is perceived as a sign of weakness by people who are narcissistic. To these people, gratitude is in a sense giving other people power over yourself. It’s the acceptance that you owe something to someone. It also forces you to come to terms with the fact that you might have needed someone else’s help. To narcissistic people, they think of themselves as these all-powerful beings that rise far above others in superiority. The acceptance that someone else did something valuable for them brings them crashing back down to earth.

Zodiac signs that are most Narcissistic

Where do you rank on the top 4 zodiac signs on being the most Narcissistic?

Do you believe that you can basically diagnose someone to be Narcissist by their Zodiac sign?

Is narcissism that simple to predict?

What about numerous studies done on Narcissist Personality Disorder that prove


First I must say, i do not believe personally that mental illness is particularly associated with a Zodiac sign. But when I saw this question I just had to do the research just out of curiosity and there it was.

#1 Most Narcissistic Zodiac is Capricorn

Selfish, sadistic, self-centered, egotistical, opportunistic, narcissistic Capricorns take the number one spot!

Narcissist quietly plot, just like Capricorns. They are conniving and strategic in their endeavors to attain money, status, and power!

Lack empathy. Capricorns don’t want to know your point of view, your feelings or what your going through. All they hear is their own voice, your feelings, wants and needs are irrelevant.

Capricorns are the supervillains with the most staying power. Deeply resentful of their inability to love or be loved by others, evil Capricorns apply themselves to an overall strategy of world domination.

# 2 Most Narcissistic Zodiac Sign is LEO

I was debating whether or not Leo should be number one but I gave them a pass because there is one more sign in the Zodiac more narcissistic than Leos, believe it or not!

Poor Leo, with an ego the size of their ruling planet which isn’t even a planet, it’s the sun… how can they NOT be narcissistic?

The sun is the life force of the Universe. Without it, we’d all be dead. Everything and every planet revolves around the sun.

The Leo truly believes the world revolves around them. The minute you stop stroking their egos and not making them the center of your world is the minute the Leo goes into a narcissistic rage!

Secretively Insecure: Leo’s brag a lot, they are known to be conceited but they manage to hide their insecurity very well behind their exaggerated self-confidence! I’m sure you’ve seen The Wizard of Oz The Lion without a heart is the perfect example of the tragedy that is the Leo!

#3 Most Narcissist Zodiac Sign is VIRGO

Virgo’s are walking talking paradoxes.

Virgo’s are earth signs. If they wish, they can be very successful. Earth signs are manifestors and they typically make shit happen.

However, some of them are too self-destructive and narcissistic to ever see true success unless of course, it is stepping on the backs of everyone they know.

Virgos want you to be successful but not more successful than them, this is why the movie Horrible Bosses was inspired by an employee with a Virgo manager…

Narcissist secretly does not want you to succeed, neither does a Virgo.

Narcissists/Virgos are never satisfied with ANYTHING you do ever! They will find something wrong with everything you do and point it out without hesitation.

Virgos are detail oriented, but they pay attention to the WRONG details. They pay attention to IRRELEVANT details no one else pays attention.

If a Virgo is reading this now, they are angry and in total disbelief. Many narcissists cannot handle people calling them out neither can a Virgo.

#4 Most Narcissistic Zodiac Sign: TAURUS

Taurus manages to get themselves on every Zodiac shit-list that I construct.

My Moon sign is in Taurus so spare me the bias bullshit. I am talking about myself to a certain extent.

Taurus just can’t stay out of trouble. This is probably because the Taurus is the Symbolic age of a toddler in astrology and if you’ve ever been around a two-year-old, all you say repeatedly to them is “No,” “Get out of there,” and “You can’t have that!.”

A sense of entitlement: Like toddlers, most Taurus have a natural sense of entitlement. Hitler, one of the most famous Taurus, grew up torturing animals because he thought he was superior to them and he found torture entertaining…

Taurus truly believes that they deserve more than the average person. This belief gets them far in life because they are able to attract good luck, success, and wealth based on the belief that they deserve it.

Victim or Thriver


Narcissist lack conscientiousness, empathy, and sentiment, people who possess these qualities have the fuel to feed the soul of the narcissist, he or she gains strength and breaks you down bit by bit, stealing your joy and happiness and here you will see the narcissist will begin to thrive. By Amy



If you haven’t met a narcissist yet good for you. But its good to know about the various signs of a narcissist so when or if you do meet one, run for your life and never look back. As far as I know, there are no proven facts or studies to this date that a narcissist can be cured.

What is a Narcissist?

The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include a grandiose sense of importance, preoccupation with unlimited success, believe that one is special and unique, exploitative of others, lack empathy, arrogance, and jealousy of others. These symptoms cause significant distress in a person’s life. A narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life — and to anyone, they meet.

source: PsychCentral

You will be a victim of the narcissist and he/she will thrive on you. The narcissist will use you to gain the power to feed his soul. You can never win with a narcissist the trick is not to play at all.


Here are 5 things a Narcissist looks for in their victims:

1. Conscientiousness.

Perhaps one of the most overlooked qualities narcissists look for is the ability to be conscientious. Conscientious individuals are concerned about the welfare of others and they follow through on their obligations to others. Since they make decisions based on their conscience, they are likely to project their own sense of morality onto the narcissist and assume that the narcissist too will follow through. Narcissists know that when victims are conscientiousness enough to worry about the needs of others, they can exploit that quality to serve them.

2. Empathy.

The importance of having an empathic target cannot be underestimated. Narcissists do not get a good steady source of supply (praise, attention, resources, etc.) from anyone who lacks empathy. They themselves lack empathy, but their chosen targets often have a great deal of empathy. The emotional fuel that empathic individuals give the narcissist is necessary for them to feel in power and in control; otherwise, they essentially “starve” and go on the hunt for another source of supply.

3. Integrity.

A person who keeps their word is incredibly attractive to a morally impoverished narcissist. Individuals with integrity have a wealth of attributes that narcissists feel they can exploit for their own gain.

4. Resilience.

The ability to “bounce back” from abusive incidents is something that (counterintuitively enough) strengthens a victim’s bond with a narcissist.

5. A high degree of sentimentality.


A victim who is sentimental and loves deeply appeals to a narcissistic individual because he or she can use love-bombing (excessive flattery and praise used to groom a victim) to appeal to that person’s needs and desires with ease. As narcissists idealize their victims in the early stages of the relationship, they are able to secure their trust by appealing to their craving for love.