1. That person….. has it so much easier than me.
So many people believe this. But it’s simply not true. The truth is, you have no idea what that person’s life is about! Everyone is exploring and struggling in their own way.
Nobody was handed a manual or an instruction guide for life – everyone is trying to figure it out just the same way you are. I once heard someone say if we all threw our problems into a pile in the middle of a room and were forced to choose one, we would scramble to retrieve our own.
2. It is better to give than to receive.
It’s a nice thought and useful if you’re a particularly self-centered individual but I don’t think it’s true. Maybe we can replace that lie with, “It’s better to give AND receive.” Because neither is “better” than the other. They are in balance.
It’s simple math, for every giver, there must be a receiver. And to take it one step further, giving is psychologically easier than receiving because there’s no sense of self-worth needed to give. You can give the best parts of yourself away because you don’t feel worthy of having them. But to be willing to receive means you feel worthy of accepting gifts from others.
3. I can do this tomorrow
Maybe one of the most frequent lies we tell ourselves. But we all know it’s not true! The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do. But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.
No one knows what the future holds and what good does it do to live in the “one of these days” mindset? The life you have is today and the time to live it is now. Besides, if we all waited until we were ready, we would never get anything done!
4. Happiness is the foundation of my well-being.
We tell ourselves over and over again, “I need to be happy.” We question ourselves, “Why aren’t you happy?!” But the truth is, emotions are emotions.
Sad, angry, lonely, scared, they are not bad things! Instead of telling ourselves we need to stay happy, we ought to be letting ourselves feel however we do at any given moment. This kind of permission to feel as we feel — not continuous happiness — is the foundation of your well-being.
5. It’s wrong to be self-centered.
Sometimes being selfish is healthy. We could all learn to say, “no” every now and then. And stop apologizing all the time. It’s your life! Your emotions!
So choose what’s best for you. And stop caring what other people think about your decisions. If/when it comes down to choosing between someone else or something else and yourself, always choose yourself.