Supporting A Spouse or Partner Who Has BPD: Here Are Some Tips That Can Help.

Borderline personality disorder is a very difficult illness and there seems to be a lot of stigma surrounding it. Nevertheless, people with this disorder suffer tremendously, whether you have the disorder yourself or you have a loved one who has this disorder. My advice to you is to stay strong there is hope and treatment available. I have receive many questions in the past of people asking me “is there any treatment for BPD” or some might say “when you have BPD there is not hope for recovery”. There are a lot of misinformation circulating about BPD being untreatable and this is far from the truth.

My blog is created for those who sincerely care for their spouse or partner with BPD and want to help them get better.

Borderline Personality Disorder

It has long been believed to be the one psychiatric disorder that produced the most intense emotional pain, agony, and distress in those who suffer with this condition. Studies have shown that borderline patients experience chronic and significant emotional suffering and mental agony.

How do I support my BPD partner?

Always remember that your stable, reassuring presence in the life of your loved one experiencing BPD can help them tremendously. I always tell my clients love and support goes a long way when recovering from a mental illness, find someone it can be anyone that cares about you and loves you, this could be a friend, a spouse, and family members. If you can help someone live a better life support them in their time of need do it.

Tips For Supporting Your Spouse or Partner

Encourage And Understand Treatment

Learn the basics of the four skills of DBT—mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance and emotion regulation—and how you can help your loved one practice them.

Show You Appreciate Your Loved One

show your loved one you appreciate them and the things they do to make you happy. Individuals living with BPD are often looking for honest validation and love—so if you feel it, be open about it.

Be Prepared For Mixed Messages

A person with BPD can go from loving and adoring you (idealization) to being furious and “hating” you (devaluation) in a matter of hours. they will carry an overwhelming fear that you will abandon them.

When these fears arise, be ready to offer comfort with a meaningful reassurance: “I understand that your feelings are overwhelming right now; I understand that you feel afraid that I will leave you. But I won’t. We will get through this and I support you.”

Be Responsive

When a person with BPD is trying to reach out or contact you, it’s helpful to be as responsive as possible.

Understand It’s Not Their Fault

BPD is known to add immense stress to relationships. It can be challenging—even impossible—for a person to manage their symptoms in a way that doesn’t affect the people close to them. So when symptoms do flare, remember that they don’t have control—literally.

Always remember to be strong you can do this…


Any questions, queries or concerns about mental illness please feel from to leave a comment or send me an email.

Published by Coach Amy

BS, Psychology graduate, Certified NLP Master Practitioner, Certified Life Coach, training in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Certified Confidence Life Coach,

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